Well Ags, I have a long sad story to tell. And I'm not talking about the football game
It actually isn't that sad, but it is a long story. My epic camping adventure, I'll call it "Bob."
Bob
We started out Friday for our epic camping adventure. I had left work early to go home and assemble our provisions for the trip. I rescued the princess from the evil rental car company. I soon ran into resistance in the form of "Crazy Dallas Drivers". I was hoping that my secret weapon, Ye Old HOV lane would be of more assistance, but I was sadly mistaken.
After a long arduous battle through traffic we decided to stop and have a bite to eat at Ye Old Macaroni Grille. The serving wench was less than adequate but the food helped wash away some of the battle weariness. Little did I know that my next battle would be sooner than I thought.
The princess and I mounted my trusty steed. It was then that we discovered that my trusty steed had turned on me. A kind lord of the land assisted me in shocking life back into my treacherous steed, so we were soon on our way a nearby market. We pulled up to Ye Old Wal-Mart only to discover that the stables had recently closed. I chose to acquire the necessary quest items to complete the repairs myself. I returned shortly with a new shock box as well as assorted torture devices. It was then that I discovered that the Nameless One himself had occupied my old shock box and would not let go of the negative terminal. After much battling, the retreat was sounded and I withdrew from the field of battle. The noble security squire offered to advise the other squires to make sure my steed would be watched. The princess summoned her noble aunt and uncle who assisted us in our retreat. We arrived and set up camp. The princess herself provided protection for four younger ladies-in-waiting while I chose a spot nearby in case I was needed to protect the ladies-in-waiting.
After a sound night's sleep we returned to the battlefield to attempt a new strategy. The stables were now open and with the help of a somewhat dopey squire, we managed to get my steed into their stables. They were left with instructions to replace the shock box and the terminals and to summon me as needed. We returned to base camp to await our summons. When the summons came, I discovered that Ye Old Wal-Mart had also been infested by the dark one to such a degree that it had become the scum of bottom feeders. I was informed by the knave that they would not replace the shock box since they could not loosen the grasp of the Nameless One. I was informed that they did not replace terminals and would not continue to repair my noble steed. My anger at their impudence and ignorance was such to wish to squash them beneath my feet, but I was not in my own lands.
It was then that Merlin appeared. Merlin asked me not to reveal his true identity and to simply call him Gary. Gary returned to the fray where he struck down the Nameless One's grip. The new shock box was connected and my noble steed one again sprang to life. We returned to camp victorious in our grand quest.
That night we feasted. Much meat and mead was consumed. Good had triumphed over evil and the world was safe once again.
